I feel like someone scammed me. I know what it feels like, it’s happened to me a lot, but I have rarely so gladly let myself be scammed as I have with Netflix. The selection of films and television on Netflix outside of the US and Canada is fucking awful. While Canadian and American Netflix is updated regularly and contains the newest episodes of television shows, Irish Netflix is lagging behind. It is like seeing Usain Bolt race against a legless child. The child will eventually crawl to the finish line, but Usain will have already gotten home by then. 

The cheapest plan for Netflix in Ireland is €7.99 a month (around $9 a month), or about a dollar more expensive than the American subscription per month. For the longest time we have put up with Netflix in Ireland by using VPN’s to have access to the American catalog. Recently, Netflix decided to prevent subscribers from using their VPN’s to access other regional catalogs. The reason for this is because Netflix doesn’t have the license to a lot of television shows and films in many regions, including Ireland.

The license holders get pissed off because they no longer have a monopoly on the show or film they paid a license for and can take legal action against Netflix. The licensing holders can’t take legal action against individuals, instead they threaten Netflix by making it out that Netflix is enabling a service for their subscribers to  use to break the law. So now the dream is gone. The last few times I have used my VPN and placed myself in the US of A, this came up.

Netflix is shit 2

I thought “Irish Netflix must have caught up”, it has been years since I last looked through the catalog of shit B-movies and one season of shows that have finished years ago. It turns out, with the exception of Netflix made content, the rest of what is offered is simply fucking abysmal. Okay, there are a lot of great movies and television series on the Irish Netflix, but it would run out in a matter of a few weeks if you watched Netflix regularly.

I watched most of the catalog before I subscribed to Netflix anyway. Most of the content that is left for me to watch is horrendous or doesn’t make sense. For the ‘horrendous’ side of things, there are a lot of direct-to-video films and all round mediocre, forgettable nonsense.  So you can expect to be treated to:

Species-The Awakening (2007/ No score Rotten Tomatoes)

Stargate: The Ark of Truth (2008/ No score Rotten Tomatoes)

Robocop 3(1993/ 3% Rotten Tomatoes)

Left Behind (2014/ 2% Rotten Tomatoes)

The Spy Next Door (2010/ 12% Rotten Tomatoes)

Season of The Witch (2011/ 10% Rotten Tomatoes)

The Fantastic 4 (2005/ 9% Rotten Tomatoes)

The Last Airbender  (2010/ 6% Rotten Tomatoes)

These aren’t films that you will find randomly hidden somewhere in the dark recesses of Netflix. They are recommended. In the case of ‘Left Behind’, it was recommended to me because I watched the series ‘Fargo’. Is Nicolas Cage paying Netflix to promote his over the hill crappy movies? These films can be forgiven to a degree. There are still a lot of great titles and television series on Netflix to escape to, but that isn’t able to save Netflix from it’s next fuck-up.

What is your favorite order to watch a trilogy in? Watch them backwards or start with the middle one? If you don’t like to watch films in a linear fashion, Netflix is definitely for you. Haven’t seen the first two Hobbit films and want to skip ahead to see the Battle of the Five Armies? Netflix has you covered. There are a lot of films that are unwatchable because they require prior viewing of films that take place before them, which Netflix doesn’t provide.

Men in Black 3 (2012)

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

The Expendables 3 (2014)

Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (2015)

Resident Evil Apocalypse (2004)

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013)

The Hunger Games: MockingJay- Part 1 (2014)

I’m not calling these films good by any stretch of the imagination, but it should shoot home the message that Netflix is only getting the licenses for random films. Rather than building up a good catalog of content, they seem to be throwing anything in they can get their hands on.

The Irish Netflix catalog doesn’t make sense and the only good thing about having Netflix is being able to watch Netflix exclusive content, but that takes me to my final point.

We still live in an age where it is harder to watch television shows and films legally. Having the choice to stream films and shows legally with a monthly subscription that isn’t exorbitant is great. It is what most people want.

If you have American or Canadian Netflix, I don’t understand why you would need to watch torrented films/series or Showbox. Maybe if you wanted to watch Game of Thrones or something that is obscure, sure. I still can’t find Farscape anywhere online. I might actually buy the seasons on DVD. Don’t judge me, please.

Right now, Netflix is bragging with a notification on the browser they have ‘Watchmen’. Congratulations Netflix, I can now watch a 2009 film I have seen already. Really keeping me up to date on cinema.

Netflix has been dangling their dick above it’s subscribers with the news that they want to increase their monthly subscription plans by €2. As it stands, I have a catalog that isn’t worth the minimum plan of €7.99 a month, never mind €9.99 a month. As such, I will not be renewing my Netflix subscription after this month. It really isn’t worth the money anymore.