I have let my email spam fester for quite some time and oddly enough, I haven’t gotten too much spam in the last few weeks. I am so use to being hounded with tales of foreign fortunes and cancer patients wanting to give me their fortune for so long that I forgot the hilarity of reading it.

Well, wait no more, yesterday I was spammed to the point I had to actually delete some of it because it was overflowing into my inbox for some reason. Most of the spam was fake accounts from Amazon and Hotmail. I haven’t fallen for those phishing scams since 2007 and I doubt I will ever again.

I found this sorry wretch of a human being sending me this hilarious email. First of all this email outlines ‘greedy Africans politicians’ in the third paragraph. This is odd because the email account is clearly from Peru (.pe).

Spammer email

Vanessa my dear, you should invest more time in your narrative and story telling, if you were being integrated by the police you wouldn’t last that long.

Spam 1   Now I love sticking it to politicians as much as the next anarchist or general human being, but this is illegal. I think Vanessa is trying to act up on the recent news of the Panama Papers to make me believe her. All I know is, if I let her transfer me that money, Revenue would be asking ‘where the hell did that money come from?’. Also, if the money is suppose to be used to develop the continent, why would she be sending it to me and not an NGO? Come on Vanessa, focus! This story is a dog’s dinner.

Spam 3

Only 10% of the $5 million will go to the needy. I mean it is one thing to call these politicians greedy but when you are robbing them and masquerading as some Robin Hood figure and keeping most of the money from the poor, you kind of lose the right to call politicians ‘greedy’. Overall this Spam gets a 3/10, didn’t utilize terminal illness to guilt me or feature Princes.